Unfortunately, pregnancy did not happen this month. In a few acts of irony, we found out on the one day I was looking forward to for months (celebrating our anniversary). It sucked but we were determined not to bring us down....until we found out that our best friends were successful in the baby making this month. And quite honestly, it got me down....way down. So down that I took the next day off work to have a pity party.
I couldn't get over the fact that God would give me such a slap in the face until honestly it occurred to me, perhaps I needed that slap. Sure I knew that God would provide for us. Yes I know that He is looking out for our family. But did I really hand it all to him? Sadly, no. I had handed it over to him but had kept my hand on it. I still was trying to micro manage what MY plan was. I needed that slap in my face to realize all of this. I know it is hard but I can confidently say that I am on the path of handing it over.
This has helped me to be happier for the most part. Yes, it's still in the back of my mind but it's not the center right now, and that is for the best. We had a good Memorial Day weekend. We worked in the yard on Saturday and then hit the lake with friends on Sunday. Today, I am laid up with a major allergy attack from working in the yard. It goes nicely with my stripe of sunburn on my back. How I achieved that, I have no clue, but it hurts!
Here's to a fabulous week coming up. A busy week, but a good one because it's all in your mindset and for the first time in a year since we started trying I can finally say that I am in the right mindset now.
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